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Guest Posts Parenting Advice

5 Positive Parenting Techniques Every Parent Should Know!

Photo Of Boy Standing Beside Mother

Understand that they look up to you – they will follow in your footsteps.

The fallacy that raising kids gets easier should only be accepted if you’ve never done some birthing. Easier said than done! Nonetheless, that is why we are here – advise you on the best and most appropriate parenting techniques approved by psychologists, pediatrics, daycare nannies, and even teachers. These are approved methods that will also assist you in dealing with them as they reach their teen years and start understanding themselves and even deal with other people.

1. Positive Parenting Says No To Rewards

The mission with positive parenting techniques is to influence long term behavior. These are not quick fixes to your kid’s melodramatic episodes. You thus have to toughen up as you bring out the character you desire to see in them. The problem with rewarding kids to achieve certain things is that they will always expect something for what they do. If this was how life in the real world was, then it probably wouldn’t be such a slippery slope to try this on your kids, would it!

2. Positive Parenting Techniques Addresses the Cause

You want to be wiser than they are as you read your kid. This is not that tender age when they would only express themselves through constant shrieks and cries, leaving you guessing what they really want. Now they are a bit ‘mature,’ and you want to develop mature and effective parenting techniques.

Mother and Son in Kitchen

Take time to know them to know what they really want when they don’t know how to ask!

Don’t address the behavior directly – rather, seek to understand whatever is causing that behavior. If you’re watching them play and your phone rings and they start shouting all of a sudden not heeding your warning gaze, probably they were enjoying your attention, and someone wants to steal that!

3. Positive Parenting Techniques Offers Choices

First of all, make it pretty clear whatever you want to get done, whether they will have a memory book for chores or draw pictures to recall not to leave their shoes carelessly on the door. Then, give them alternatives instead of issuing the dos and don’ts commands. 

4. Positive Parenting Techniques Are Consistent, Firm and Loving

Hands, Holding, Embracing, Loving, Child, Girl

Psychology is a full package of wisdom and love combined.

A routine has to be forged. Since the youngsters tend to love it their way or enjoy forgetting, parenting discipline techniques also ought to be constant. Sometimes, it might hurt you to keep them away from something or discipline them, but we never promised it’s going to be an easy ride! 

5. Positive Parenting Techniques Uses Humor and Isn’t Perfect

You never laugh at your kiddo, you laugh along with them. You never make them feel worthless; you make them understand that a certain habit has no worth. Don’t aim for perfection. You’ll be discouraged way too early. Aim for small but sure steps that provide a notable change.

Conclusion

This life is not a race with anyone – do not compete to make your child turn into something you saw next door or on social media. They have their journey to take, and as they grow, you may see them depart from some things you’ve held on dearly to. Just be patient with them as they grow and learn how to express themselves.

Do you think positive parenting techniques work? Why or why not? Leave a comment!

Author’s Bio:

Amalia Liberman is a wife and a mother of two as well as a novelist and writer, the author has been featured in Women’s Health magazine and also written different articles in lifestyle magazines. Her passions lead her to search out knowledge with all her searching and she doesn’t mind sharing her findings.

Picture sources –

  1. Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-boy-standing-beside-mother-3330709/  
  2. Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/mother-and-son-in-kitchen-3730943/  
  3. Source: https://pixabay.com/illustrations/hands-holding-embracing-loving-718559/   

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Why not also read my other posts –

Homeschooling Activities

Ways to help with Mental Health during lockdown

Lisa Norman’s guest blog on the birth of her son prematurely

Review of the educational Human Heroes App

A collection of lockdown poems

Categories
Guest Posts Parenting Advice

Winning the Mealtime Battle

Written by Sarah Alder of Kitchen Titbits

As a couple, food is probably what binds us the most. When we welcomed H into the world, we were excited for him to share food with us, to sit at the table and eat together and to see the joy on his face when experiencing new and interesting flavours or the pleasure of visiting a restaurant.

For a couple of years after weaning, he’d tuck into anything and everything. He’d declare his favourite meal as ‘paella’ to anyone who asked and would request I cook him squid when his peers might not venture further than a fish finger. He would cook with me, tasting as we went and chatting about the ingredients. He was a sponge, soaking up everything I had to teach him. It felt wonderful!

Then, something changed. This little boy who’d try anything turned into a food refuser. A wholesome and varied diet restricted to a few acceptable foods –raw red pepper and carrot, cucumber and sweetcorn, cheese and ham, bread and crackers, cheese and tomato pizza, fish fingers and not much more.

Suddenly, I knew just how so many parents feel at mealtimes. Dread, anger, stress, bewilderment. I just wanted the dining room to open up and swallow me.

We tried to follow our instincts and the advice for coping with the ordeal; not getting angry or upset was easier said than done and there was so much conflicting information that I didn’t know where to start. I needed tried and tested methods.

So, I read and read and read and determined what would be the most sensible things to try first; persisting with offering the food we wanted him to eat in small amounts, not offering an alternative, praising when he tried something and trying to remind ourselves that he’d eat if he was really hungry (turned out he was so stubborn that he wouldn’t!).

It was OK knowing some simple approaches to employ but it was slow going and so I started reading about the psychological and social aspects of eating, about child behaviour, even delving into the area of autism,where there are known sensitivities around textures of foods and trying new things.

I was able to start piecing things together and forming a plan of action. Two years later,we weren’t free of the battle with food, but the situation was hugely improved. The acceptable food pool had widened and the call to the table was no longer met with a complete meltdown.

Now, almost four years on, I would say we’ve definitely cracked it and I no longer consider H a fussy eater (we’re just going through it all again with our daughter!). Yes, there are foods he doesn’t enjoy. Yes, there are foods he’s yet to try or has tried but needs to keep trying. Yes, there are mealtimes where he’ll start to make a fuss. But, that’s just like any other child!

So, how did we cope with the challenge? I realised that his life is managed for him in so many ways and that he’s constantly being told what to do and when. What goes in his mouth is the only thing he can dictate and we needed to get around this. We found ways for him to assert some control over what he eats, within the boundaries that we set.

Each weekday he chooses what to have for breakfast from a small selection. At the weekends, we often have a more leisurely breakfast and he has the opportunity to request something he likes; fruit pancakes, sausage bagels, omelette and toast, sweetcorn fritters.

At the weekend, he picks what to have for lunch, but we all eat the same thing together at teatime. He also contributes to our weekly meal plans. It’s another way for him to feel in control.

One of the easiest ways I’ve found to make mealtimes less stressful and more varied,whilst ensuring I am only preparing one dinner is to serve meals family-style. All that means is that, instead of serving a meal plated up for everyone, all the food goes in the middle of the table for everyone to help themselves.

We’re made food fun again instead of it being a battleground and it worked – I think the fact that he now wants to ‘style’ his meal and take a photo of it just like daddy is a positive sign!

Family mealtimes should be sociable affairs, full of laughter and a way to reconnect after a busy day or week. Instead they are all too often a stressful and upsetting time. But they don’t have to be this way.

My ‘How to feed your fussy eater’ four-week interactive online programme will equip you with an armoury of techniques, words and activities so that you can turn mealtimes around. Food will no longer be scary, the dinner table will no longer be a battleground, you will be able to remain calm, you’ll have an endless supply of meal ideas, food will be served which everyone will enjoy and the vegetables will get eaten (eventually!).

I’ve got bonus appearances from Laura Clark Nutrition and Heather Keats Health and Fitness lined up as well to support you with any nutrition concerns and techniques to help you reduce your stress and remain calm. Once the course is finished, you’ll also have the option to join a community of supportive mums (dads are welcome too!) who have attended my courses and workshops and who know just what it’s like. You’ll receive ongoing support and encouragement from us all.

So, if you’re ready to help your family enjoy healthier, happier and stress-free mealtimes, join me for the course starting on 27 April! It will be running termly so if now isn’t the right time for you, join me for the next one after the May half term.

If the course isn’t for you but you know a mum (or dad) who is at their wits end come mealtimes, please tell them about my course. They don’t need to face this alone and they don’t need to continue to suffer.

Why not also take a look at my other posts –

Lisa Norman shares her story on the premature birth of her son Neil

Interview with Jo Coombs and Robert Papworth of the new selling site Made by Mums

Book review of Jo Middleton’s fabulous book Playgroups and Prosecco

Categories
Guest Posts Parenting Advice

Lisa Norman shares her story on the premature birth of her son Neil!

Lisa Norman shares with us her heart wrenching story about the difficulties and trauma they went through when their son Neil was born prematurely. Lisa is an amazing woman as you will read from her story, she has also set up her own business Presents for Preemies to help others with premature babies.

Guest Blog

My introduction to motherhood was a quite a shock from how I had it all pictured in my head. I pictured a radiant pregnancy glow, my reality was feeling tired and nauseated all the time. I pictured the prefect bump, my reality was that you couldn’t tell I was pregnant until I was about 28 weeks. I pictured a calm water birth, in reality the exact opposite happened!

Early in my pregnancy I was told by the midwife that I had PAAP-A. In short it is a protein deficiency in the placenta that can cause various issues in a pregnancy. I was told not to worry though as they were unlikely and that from 30 weeks I would have extra scans to check my baby was growing as he should.

I was so uncomfortable as my baby boy was sitting really low and he was putting a lot of pressure on my hips and spine. I was attending aqua antenatal classes and pregnancy exercise classes as well as regular acupuncture. I was miserable and was really looking forward to my baby arriving. What I wasn’t expecting was that he would be arriving early and urgently. 

I arrived at the hospital for my first routine scan at exactly 30 weeks pregnant. There was no parking so my husband dropped me off and I went in for my scan on my own. The sonographer soon told me to tell my husband to park in the 10 minute bay and quickly left the room to tell security she had instructed him to park there. 

My husband entered the room, sat down and we were given the news that our baby had a lot of fluid on his tummy that shouldn’t be there and his heart was beating too quickly. The sonographer had already sent the scan up to a team to assess. We were asked to wait while she went to get the results of their decision. It felt like an eternity! 

The sonographer entered the room and said I was going up to theatre now! She was practically

running down the corridor and I was struggling to keep up, she saw this and slowed down. I was in tears and as we got in the lift my husband gave me a huge hug, blocking me from the sonographer who was crying herself.

I was rushed into theatre for an emergency c-section. My husband had been warned while they were prepping me for surgery that they didn’t think our son was not likely to survive delivery. Once he was born we didn’t hear a thing, the room was silent. No baby cry and no staff talking. We were then told that our son was alive and that we could see him for a minute before they took him away. We weren’t allowed to touch him, just look through an incubator window.

In that minute I was so in love and in awe of the tiny little thing trying to look back at me. Then he was gone. We spent the next 73 days on 2 different neonatal units whilst they treated my son, Neil, for Supraventricular Tachycardia (SVT) and Hydrops. The first 4 weeks we didn’t know from day to day if he was going to survive. The fifth week was the turning point, Neil was now under more specialised doctors who tweaked his medication and miraculously this tweak worked.

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Pictures provided by Lisa Norman 

Neil went from strength to strength and we were eventually told that there was nothing they weren’t doing at the hospital that we couldn’t do ourselves at home. We were finally going to go home! It was strange at first but felt so right. Four days later though disaster struck. Neil was in my husband’s arms and he suddenly went limp. He was completely lifeless and turning blue. 

My husband is a police officer and regularly trained to do CPR. Neither of us thought we would ever be performing this act on our own child though. My husband started with the rescue breaths whilst I rang 999. Initially we didn’t think we were going to get Neil back but just as the ambulance turned onto our street Neil whimpered with a sign of life. We were blue lighted back to hospital where we would spend a further week. This was to be Neil’s first battle with bronchiolitis.

Neil is now 2 and although his heart and lung condition mean many trips to the hospital for both routine appointments and urgent children’s ward access he is getting bigger and stronger every day. I haven’t told my story for sympathy or to scare anyone. I have told my story because all this took its toll. It may not surprise you that I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and anxiety. Being a mum is amazing and the best thing in the world. It is also quite scary at times. I hear so many mum’s who put themselves at the bottom of the to-do list. I am here to say to those mums please don’t! It’s such a tough job but it’s even tougher if you don’t look after yourself.

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Pictures provided by Lisa Norman and taken by Forever Green Photography

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) was the right route for me and after many sessions I felt a lot better and was able to handle things much better. I went on to set up my own business, Presents For Preemies and most recently I have become an Amazon number 1 best-selling author. I don’t profess to always look after myself the way I should but by putting myself a little higher on my to-do list just for a few days has made me a much better mother and reminded me I can also be Lisa occasionally too!

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Pictures provided by Lisa Norman and taken by Forever Green Photography

Links

www.presentsforpreemies.co.uk

www.facebook.com/PresentsForPreemies

www.instagram.com/presents_for_preemies

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Pictures provided by Lisa Norman and taken by Forever Green Photography

Why not take a look other inspirational interviews –

Interview with award winning glass engraver Steven Lee

Interview with Cat at Cat Creation

Interview with children’s publisher Justin Davis

Cassandra Farren’s heartbreaking story ‘I’ve lost my mum’

Some of my post contain affiliated links to products where I may receive a small fee if these products are bought